I’m also in school and it’s going pretty well. I started off going for a software engineering degree but because of the time constraint (not wanting to be in school for the next three years), I decided to stick to a business management course. Then after getting my BA in Business Management I can go for my masters in Information Technology Management which is where I want to concentrate on eventually.

I’ve also been working on a lot of pretty cool projects with a few friends that I hope will pay off soon and provide an avenue to expand myself on a professional level. These projects may soon be released and talked about here. For now, they’re under wraps.

Anyway, I’m excited about the future and some of the things I’m looking forward to accomplishing. I’m looking forward to watching my son grow and become a little boy. Stay tuned and drop some comments or friend me on Facebook.

To simply put this: meeting him was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced. I simply didn’t know how to react. It wasn’t anything I ever expected and seeing this little person opened my eyes and my heart to a new experience and a new love. I don’t have the words to really convey my love and affection for Elijah, my son, on a blog or a piece of paper or how to even express it verbally. I’m still baffled and haven’t really let it all sink in.

This is ultimately not the situation I expected to be in with him and his mother; apart and broken. The feeling of loss and everything else all rolled into one place has me so confused and distraught. I have tried to mend fences with his mother many times and have finally come to the conclusion that her heart is no longer interested in a family with me.

When do you stop and let it all go? As a man trying to mend his family, where do you throw in the towel. After the woman you love and have given your heart to says “there is no future for us,” that obviously doesn’t leave me many options.

At this point I’m taking a break from the blog. Why? I’m afraid of what I might say. And who knows I may end up having a lot to say in the coming months. More than I expected. But for right now, I gotta chill.

The motto for my blog is “Switching gears in life” and that ultimately is where I’m at. I followed a care free path for a long time but now it’s obvious that I have no other option but to change gears and take responsibility for my little man. My little son. He is my light right now. He is what I think about when I’m down, sad and alone. He needs my strength and courage to do what’s right and provide for him as much as I possibly can.

I love you son.

Carol does a lot of really interesting self help workshops and clinics. She has recently published a book, Fearless Thinking. Look her up at CarolAubrey.com

Our next project is her blog which is still being refined.

It’s so cool how life progresses and everyone and everything changes. You literally never know how things are going to end up. So stop stressing and worrying and enjoy life. It’s not that bad. Be optimistic and smile.

We all go through tough times but it’s how you survive them that counts.

Enjoy the video… and yes, wear sunscreen.

The day was awesome. Light rain and clouds surrounded the Santa Fe and Los Alamos areas and just as the sun was setting down everything cleared up perfectly. It was a much needed break for me to get away and enjoy the calming silence of nature. Enjoy the pictures!

I don’t know where I would use this thing but I can just picture myself in it with a beer and a shotgun cruising around campsites and raising hell. Cause who the hell wants to mess with a dude in a motorized easy chair never mind the shotgun. That just screams bad ass. Add to that a fishnet t-shirt and you got yourself a one man party machine. Video after the break.

Anyway I thought that was pretty funny. I could not stop laughing at how akward it was while Ryan Seacrest was sitting next to Conan. And it doesn’t stop there either cause Conan’s head is huge too. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve always know Conan was a pretty tall guy but having not watched the show in quite sometime I was quickly reminded of just how funny it was especially with shorter guests. Video after the break.

Word to the wise: Be Cautious

I’m a huge Twitter advocate and believe that it’s a great resource but by my own fault I’ve become consumed by being “followed” by as many people as I can and as fast as I can. I mean, who doesn’t want the world to hear what you have to say, right?

It’s easy to get a lot of followers mostly because a lot of MLM and gimmick people are on twitter to sell a product. You follow them and they’ll follow you along with all their affiliate cronies. Take heed with that approach because that’s where I got confused and led astray. 500 plus followers is useless if they don’t give a shit about what your tweeting. There’s no personal interaction there.  If you’re not clicking their links, they don’t care.

Personally, I have lost touch with the intent of my twittering: resourceful and usable information. Getting tweets about the things that I’m interested in. I have let the “follow me, I’ll follow you” mantra lead me astray.

In light of that. I need to re-evaluate my position on following people. I can’t keep track of shit because every time I refresh Twitter, I get 50 new tweets from people I don’t know what the fuck their talking about. “Get 1000 followers a day by clicking here”. Spam anyone?

I’m on twitter for one reason, and that’s to connect with people who share my same interests and are able to provide some sort of resource to that interest. Be that a link, opinion, blog, tutorial or an open-source application. Do yourself a favor and take the minimalistic approach. It’s easy to get caught up in the “follow” hype but bottom line, it’s not worth it and it’ll burn out the Twitter hype, FAST.

Happy Tweeting.

First off, I’m so proud to be your dad and I can’t wait to see your face and meet you. I have tried very hard to be there while you were growing in your mommas belly but the circumstances have not allowed me that privilege. I really hope you can understand that later in life when you can make your own judgments. You yourself will see my heart and how much I care about you and your mom.

I want you to know that I love you and no matter what hardships your mother and I go through, you mean the world to me. No one can take my feelings for you away from me. I wish things could have been different and the three of us – your mom, you and I – could have been a family but that was taken from me. I just wanted a happy family to raise you.

Son, you are my heart. You are the center of my life and I miss you so much. I didn’t get to see you grow and that has hurt me very deeply. That has tortured me to the point of crying and not being able to sleep. I miss rubbing lotion on your mommas belly every night and getting to see you move and kick. I wish I could hear your heart beat. I just wish I could feel you for a second of my life. Just a small kick or a small bump. I miss you so much…

Even without you being a complete person yet, I can’t believe how much I care about you. You’re so small and don’t know the complications of life yet. You won’t understand things for a really long time but I hope your mom and I can make everything comfortable for you as you grow up. I hope you know that I have tried for you and I have loved every step of your life. I will always care about what you go through and are dealing with. I’m always there for you, son.

When things seem hard and so complicated, I’m there for you no matter what. These are the things I have not been privileged to yet but want to offer to you as a dad and a friend. I want to be your “rock.” When your so down and need someone to love you and understand you, I will be there. I’m attached to you forever. I’m forever your man of understanding and unconditional love. I look forward to seeing you grow and becoming a person of your own. Watching you be a man of your own and having a son of your own that you can raise like I raised you.

I can’t wait to see you and meet you. I can’t wait to take you fishing, hunting and camping. I can’t wait to see your face when you catch your first baseball or football or score your first basket. I can’t wait till you grow up and experience the pleasures of being a father and a man. I will be there by your side through it all.

I will be your dad no matter what and when it matters the most, I love you and will be there for you.

Through all my recent hardships I have the thought of you to keep me going on. You are my “rock” like I wish to be yours.

Your dad,

Robert B. Yardman