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 Text messaging has been around for quite a while but it wasn't until now that I really realized the awkward relationships it creates. This may show my age but I remember a day when wooing (yes I just used the word woo so shoosh) a girl meant calling her on the phone for a flirtatious conversation that would last for hours on end if you liked her, or got really short if you didn't. But at the very least you knew if you had a connection with this person and they could carry a conversation. Now, not so much. You send text messages to each other constantly and try to figure out if you like one another on that basis first. It's complicated but yet easy at the same time.
Are we adding an extra step here or taking one away? Where’s the realness factor? I know it's convenient but are we trying to avoid the truth about how we or they might feel about us? How much information can you really get across in 160 characters? Not a whole lot.
Even the classic "Booty Call" has become the convenient "Booty Text." How simple right? And if you get turned down, no big deal. It's still only letters on a three inch screen. You could even try again next week and just give the, "Oh I didn't get your response so I thought I'd text you again." excuse. You never know she may have changed her mind. Or just simply move on to the next “Booty Contact” in your cell phone.
This whole new revolution (if you want to call it that) in communication has become pretty interesting to me; especially in relationships that I've been in over the past few years. I'm not just referring to romantic relationships but any kind of relationship or acquaintance you can imagine. What I don't know is if it's detaching true, real relationships or making communication easier and a little more, straight forward. Or, quite simply, maybe it's a lot of both. I mean, can you really get to know someone through a barrage of text messages? At the same time you can definitely get down to the point in your text conversation. No reason to beat around the bush. Say what you need to. They’re not there in front of you to show the disgust on their face anyway. But hey that’s all part of the human detachment.
I've had situations and even recently, where I haven't spoken a word with someone in ages but yet I'll send them a text message every so often just to say, "Hi! How are you?" I may have no personal relationship with that person or even know them anymore but it's convenient to give the quick hello. That's casual and convenient but what if that someone happens to be on a totally different level than when you knew them personally and spoke to them frequently? Maybe they turned into a complete idiot since you last really talked? It would seem like I'm avoiding knowing that person on an acc ount of convenience or am I just half-assed keeping in touch. Is there anything wrong with that? I’m not sure but there’s a passive element in there that’s kind of awkward.
Let’s change this up a little. Let’s say it's a person you're involved with in a relationship. It's a casual thing. You know the two of you don't talk for a week or so but will text message the sweet little nothings like, "I'm thinking about you and I miss you." My question is do you really miss that person and if so wouldn't you be hanging out with that person a little more regularly if you did? Not just sending text messages. Having said that, where do you draw the line and finally have true face to face dialogue and interaction with this person so you can gauge if you actually do have the feelings you say you do. Is it just an excuse to avoid really knowing that person in hopes you won't discover something you don't like about them? I don’t know how many times I’ve had this situation where I’ve gone back and forth with a person through text messages only to finally realize through one on one interaction that I really have nothing in common with them. This always left me wondering why the hell I wasted my freakin time in the first place.
Something I've learned is it's easy to type a message to a person you hardly ever see filled with feelings you hardly even know you have. But lets be honest; it's not until you actually hang out with that person that you can understand who they are, what they're about and more importantly if they're really for you.
It seems to me we're detaching ourselves from true, personal relationships because of convenience. That's the excuse I've heard most of the time anyway. "Why would I call someone when I can get a short direct response that's easier to get across with a text message?" Sure it's convenient but is it a bad thing? Can you really gauge a person or their intentions over a few lines of text? Part of understanding communication and what someone is trying to say is eye contact, body language, the sound of their voice and their expression. With those three qualities missing in a conversation how can you tell if someone is being sincere, loving, friendly, sarcastic or even angry? It becomes a mystery and can lead to obvious miscommunications. It happens to me all the time. I’m naturally a sarcastic person but my messages may come across as mean or spiteful if you don’t understand my intention. That can be frustrating at times but I guess that’s my fault in a way.
It's the digital age and everything is about convenience and technology but my advise is the next time you're about to send off that text message. Stop for a second and ask yourself if this might be a person you want to have a real conversation with. Meet up with them. Have some face time and buy 'em a beer or a coffee. Put the phone down for a while. As my friend Mario once told me a long time ago while I was on the computer typing away on a web project, "Rob, pull the cord out of the wall. Let’s go out and do something." He's right. Sometimes you just got to step away from the PC or in this case, cell phone, and meet real people and have real conversations.
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Okay, since it's been a couple weeks since I've written, I'll drop a couple lines here today.
At number one the Broncos selected Ryan Clady a left tackle From Boise State. To start off with, the dude has SIZE. He's big at 6'6" tall and weighing in at around 320lbs. That's a big boy. But furthermore, he's very athletic and nimble on his feet. Denver rarely takes very large lineman and not because they don't want size up front it's because they want someone that's agile, athletic and quick on their feet. Clady represents a big man that's everything I just mentioned. He's the best of both worlds. According to coach Shanahan, he'll be the immediate starter in camp. That's very rare in the Broncos system. It typically takes a lineman a couple years to become a starter.
